Thursday, August 9, 2012

I am not my stuff

My husband likes to quote Fight Club every now and then.  I never saw it or read it, but I get it.  I'm not my fucking khakis.  I read over the in-your-face, admonishing take control quotes from Fight Club over at The Minimalists.  It's a bit preachy, but all in all I agree.  So why then do I spend untold hours mooning over stuff on Pinterest?  This is a disconnect and I'm trying to muddle through it.  I know I need to be more present in the moment instead of dreaming about my perfect master bathroom that will only happen with a sizable home equity loan.  (Aside:  being present is not something I do easily, thank you ADD!)  I am cognizant that I am failing at the whole Zen thing.  (My husband also likes to quote Buddah.  Be a reed in the water.  It get's old after so many obvious failures, but I know he's trying to be supportive.)  We have come a long way, however.  I look around me and mostly see - in our house - furniture and the kids' artwork and toys.  We attempt to escort paper from the mailbox to the recycling bin on a direct flight.  It's not totally minimalist, but we're getting there.

I also realize, I (hooray for me) am not a hoarder.  Unclutterer checks out a Washington Post article by self-professed hoarder, Michael Rosenwald, and cheers him on for not being his stuff.  I don't buy things like crazy and stuff them in crannies all over the house.  I've even stopped going on my weekly Target runs.  (Again, yay me.)  But most of all, I am relieved to realize and announce to you that I am not my stuff.  For if I were my stuff, what would it likely say about me?

For starters, it would say, "I'm broken."  Or, "I'm stained beyond wearing."  Or even, "I'm broken and stained."  In a better case scenario it would say, "Hi, I'm Amy.  I am a pristine LP of Nena's "99 Luftballons" (a gag gift from my husband) sitting atop a box marked "Wedding."  In said box, I am a slog of unprinted negative sheets (dating myself) from my 2001 wedding.  If I am my stuff, I am a sad sack of unfinished projects and silly-assed crap.


But, fortunately, I'm not my stuff.


Damn, I loved that song.

2 comments:

  1. I find it so inspiring that you are able to share so much about your ADD. I have an anxiety disorder, and I know how challenging it can be to share the details. We need more people in the world like you!
    - M
    http://blackberrymilk.com

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Monica. I, too, have an anxiety disorder. In fact, I discovered it much sooner than I did the ADD, but I really believe they go hand-in-hand. It's just a chicken/egg situation: I don't which one came first. I really hope that my honesty and humor about my own challenges can help others not feel so alone and perhaps laugh at their foibles. Otherwise, we're left paying a lot of money to therapists! Take care and thank you so much for your kind words.
      -Amy

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Comments for me? Thanks a bunch!