Thursday, October 25, 2012

Mechanical meltdown

I have never been a hardware lady.  Give me a broken stapler and I'll tell you to throw it away and buy a new one.  Or throw it in Jell-o.  Software, yes.  I love tinkering with computers, although I'm far from being what in the bookstore where I used to work we'd call a guru.  Mechanical problems, not my thing.  And when things start to break in my life, I let them pile up because I'm so not a hardware lady.

Look around me and you will find a sad industrial graveyard:
  • just had the plumber out to fix the disposal after my mother-in-law ground up a plastic bottle
  • just had the HVAC guy come maintenance our heater and the heating unit broke in his hands
  • today I am waiting for the insurance adjuster to come look at a puzzling leak in our basement that has sat long enough to mold a box of dress-up clothes
  • I still haven't called the roofers to get a bid on the 4-month-old hail damage
  • our gutters look like haunted house gutters (and have since we moved in -- 4 years ago)
  • my kids' broken toys sit on the kitchen counter long enough to bug the crap out of me and then, like the stapler, I secretly throw them away (or throw them in Jell-o)
  • I have a pile of sun dresses and shorts laying on a chair in the family room waiting to be sewn, even though summer is long over
  • my car driver's side window hasn't functioned in two months
  • my car driver's side front parking light/blinker hasn't functioned in two months (Hint: I think they're connected to the window)
I did replace the toner in my printer, so we'll call that a win.

And just like my outer world crumbling at my feet, my body seems to follow mechanical suit:
  • I've been sick with a cold for two weeks
  • I've had a Crohn's flare up for two months (hmmmnnn, what happened two months ago that is causing all of this mess?  Oh right, I started teaching again.  I'm going to blame the university for my car's mechanical meltdown, too.  So that's a medical specialist AND a auto mechanic I need to visit.  Where do I send those bills again? The Bursar or my students' parents?)


(Photo courtesy of Shirtscope.com)
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