Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Heathens craft too

Here's where I turn away half of my readership.

But first, a confession.  I like . . . crafts.  I'm not great at crafting because of the ADD.  Picture this: my "art" table, strewn with half-finished projects from three years ago that I would've hung in my toddler's room. Said toddler is now 6 and has moved on from liking Thomas the Tank Engine through Cars 2 (thank the mighty George Lucas) straight through The Avengers and into Star Wars.  My project is moot.  So, I get distracted.  I also get frustrated.  I can overwork a craft so much I have to throw the whole damn thing away.  Still there is something about getting paint all over my hands that is gratifying.

I am a snark monster who loves construction paper hearts, fancy bunting banners, and fonts that look like a middle schooler wrote them, complete with smilely-face dots for the i.

It's a weird dichotomy, I'll admit.  Weirder: I troll craft blogs to find free downloads or purchase digital scrapbook paper, where I always, ALWAYS find a nice bible quote.  (See, there goes half my readers.  Bye-bye.  It was nice while it lasted.)  So here's my question: What does the bible have to do with putting a shabby chic digital frame around my kids' picture?  I'm not dissing religion or anyone's love of Proverbs, I'm just not making the connection.  One blogger's profile described her as a mom of two squirrley children, a self-taught scrapbook artist, and a fan of Jesus Christ.  Okay, I may have made some of that up, but it was pretty close to that. 

As someone who doesn't follow any religious faith, who is (what the?) a mom, and likes to glue crap on paper, is there a resource for me out there in the blogosphere?  If not, I'm going to start a Surly Secular Mothers Making Crap blog and you're all going to follow me, right?

Amy Sedaris has right the idea: